Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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