sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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