how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
