Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
