You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize