Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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