I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
