she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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