you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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