What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
