Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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