grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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