apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize