i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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