So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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