Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i need to put some appletini on your dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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