hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
