Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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