I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
