i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
