you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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