You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
