ADVERTISEMENT

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

  Fav 6 791 2592

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now

  Fav 28 2472 1381

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.

  Fav 15 2155 4841

  share tweet
  

• (347): View more from New York

  she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

  (1-347): View more from New York

  ofcourse you didnt.

  Fav 6 4845 1252

  share tweet
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!

  Fav 17 1267 4951

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

  Fav 4 2298 1060

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

  Fav 23 3363 1275

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.

  Fav 9 1727 1997

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...

  Fav 3 1857 982

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

  Fav 5 751 1223

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

  Fav 5 843 753

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..

  Fav 1 470 647

  share tweet
  

• (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.

  Fav 1 600 340

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.

  Fav 0 26 78

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane

  Fav 0 65 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize