I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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