Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
