My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
