Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
