Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
