Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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