I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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