Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
