yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
