i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
