week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize