My Higher Power is John Stamos
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
