I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
