thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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