i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
