Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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