there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
