Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
