i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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