Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
