Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
