What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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