All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
