Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
