You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize