I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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