Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize