it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
