she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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