porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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