I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
