ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
