I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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