I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FUCK WHALES
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
