He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize