So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize