Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
