I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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