ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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