OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hippo gnu deer
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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