So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
