Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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