i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
