we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize