My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
